A Travel Guide
Located just a few miles southwest of San Angelo, Texas, and nestled within the barren hills of Twin Buttes, is a cavern called “Mike’s Crack”.
This ancient cave has historically remained a secret to adventurers outside of San Angelo, but locals will tell you that they’ve known about Mike’s Crack for decades. It’s not difficult to find a native of San Angelo who can lead you to the entrance. After all, everyone around here has seen Mike’s Crack. The problem is finding someone who is willing to guide you through the legendary cavern. Who can blame them? Many an explorer has ventured into the deep shaft of Mike’s Crack and never returned.
We recommend only the most experienced spelunkers challenge the winding and deep crevices of Mike’s Crack because these passages are riddled with dangerous obstacles and strange animals. The main tunnel leading down into the bowels of Mike’s Crack is steep and slippery. One must be constantly aware of his surroundings so not to trip over stalagmites that line the cavern floors or step on rodents, both dead and alive. It’s not advised to kill any spiders found in Mike’s Crack. Tooth Cave Spiders and Liphistius Trapdoor Spiders can be found here and both are considered endangered species. Killing a spider in Mike’s Crack could lead to a heavy fine.
We also recommend you carry flashlights instead of torches. Do not smoke. Mike’s Crack is filled with noxious gases that could ignite easily. There are markings on the limestone walls of the cave that suggest early inhabitants of Mike’s Crack were blown to pieces when they lit their torches. We also recommend you wear a gas mask. The fumes inside Mike’s Crack are not pleasant and could cause physical distress.
Bring a compass with you should you decide to brave the unchartered areas of Mike’s Crack lest you become yet another lost victim. It will come in handy when you venture beyond the colorful illustrations on the walls of the cave, drawn by adventurers from the past, that mark directions back to the opening. Be careful not to trip on their skeletal remains.
Little-known Historical Facts About Mike’s Crack and the Twin Buttes Area:
- The Kickapoo tribe got its name from an incident that happened in Mike’s Crack.
- The Twin Buttes area was first named “Twin Butts” after the Kickapoo mooning party of 1824.
- The name was changed a century later by the town’s mayor to “Twin Buttes” because no one could say it without laughing.
- In 1955, an earthquake shook the Twin Buttes area and widened Mike’s Crack considerably.
Legend of Mike’s Crack
The legend of Mike’s Crack began with a conflict between the first white settlers in the San Angelo territory and the Kickapoo Indians. The, then called, “Twin Butts” area was considered sacred by the tribe and Mike’s Crack was believed to possess mysterious powers.
As the legend goes, one Autumn night in the early 1800’s, when a hunter’s moon was high in the sky, two unfortunate white settlers, both drunk, ventured away from their campsite and soon were lost in the vast wilderness of Twin Butts. After hours of walking, the two happened upon the opening of Mike’s Crack. From deep inside the cavern they could hear the echoing of music and believed the devil himself was inside.
They started to run away but were stopped dead in their tracks by several Kickapoo warriors on horseback who were armed with spears, their eyes emblazoned with hatred for the white men who were violating their sacred land. The two cowboys had a decision to make – either run into Mike’s Crack or be scalped by the Kickapoo warriors. They decided to take their chances with the devil in the cave.
Down they ran through the tunnel, slipping, falling and cussing. The mysterious music grew louder as they made their way along the small, winding passage. It was cold and dark, so dark neither could see the other.
The two cowboys would never face the devil in Mike’s Crack that night because one of them had the bright idea to light a match.
The Kickapoo braves outside the cave entrance witnessed the flash of light within and felt the boom that shook the land. It was then they realized the tremendous forces of Mike’s Crack. A legend was born. The story of how the power of Mike’s Crack destroyed the white man are narrated by tribe elders even to this day.
A local artist penned and recorded “The Ballad of Mike’s Crack”, which can be purchased for $8.95 at the Welcome Center.
As for the music inside the cave? Some say it was Mexicans, deserters from Santa Anna’s army, who hid away in the cavern, only to realize they were lost inside Mike’s Crack. Some say if you stand quietly at the mouth of Mike’s Crack, on a crisp, moonlit, October night and listen carefully, you will hear the haunting melody of a mariachi band.
Tour Ticket Information
There is only one person willing to lead tours into Mike’s Crack. Unfortunately, he is not available right now, having been recently admitted into the Institute for the Criminally Insane in Abilene. Self-guided tour tickets are available at the Twin Buttes Welcome Center during regular business hours.
Ticket Price: $10.00 (includes headset and map)
Shuttle service is offered at the Welcome Center every day but Sunday. Please bring your riding goggles as the shuttle is a 1930’s motorcycle with a sidecar, similar to the one Barney Fife drove through the streets of Mayberry. Even though Texas law does not mandate the wearing of a helmet, we recommend you do. Our shuttle driver’s eyesight is poor – not to mention his driving skills. We also suggest you tip him generously, otherwise you may not get a ride back.
Mike’s Crack closes at dusk.
Disclaimers:
Enter at your own risk. The City of San Angelo accepts no responsibility for property or people lost inside Mike’s Crack. Everyone who enters Mike’s Crack must sign a release to that effect.
The consumption of alcoholic beverages on the surrounding grounds and inside Mike’s Crack is encouraged. Drinks are available at the Mike’s Butt Crack Saloon.
No one under the age of 18 is permitted inside Mike’s Crack.